Crown Royal

Please America... don't become fans of Crown Royal.  Why would I make this request?  It's because I recognize that I have a tendency to get annoyed when things that I like hit the mainstream.  I'm not saying that I'm a trendsetter, but I can count numerous things that I've taken pleasure in way before the point when it became the cool thing to like.  Then once everybody was up on it, I wasn't feeling it as much.

For example -

Jessica Alba - I was talking about Jessica Alba like 10 years ago!!!  Back in 2000 when Dark Angel first came out I was a die hard fan and I watched Idle Hands (possibly the worst movie ever made) at least five times because of her.  I used to tell people all the time..."yo, Jessica Alba is the truth!"  In my world there was sliced bread, the wheel, and Jessica Alba.  Now I get mad when someone tries to tell me how hot she is. I TOLD YOU THAT A LONG TIME AGO!!!

Outkast - I get so mad when I'm djing and someone comes up to me and requests "THE POLAROID SONG" aka "Hey Ya" from Andre 3000's "The Love Below."  I have every Outkast album since they first dropped and have been a big fan of the duo since they hit the charts with a Christmas song called "Player's Ball" in 1993.  I like Outkast but many folks like them because of "Hey Ya" and that really burns me up, because in my opinion that is one of the worst songs they've ever made.

Air Force 1's - DAMN YOU NELLY!!! We were rocking Air 1's in Michigan way before you made that song.  Now I have to pay $80 for a shoe that used to cost $65.  I can remember telling someone that I was from Michigan and they asked me..."where are your Air 1's then?"  I keep a fresh pair of white on whites and get a lot of compliments on my olympic Air 1's.  Luckily Nelly isn't that popular right now, so I can still rock my Air 1's without being lumped in with the fareweather Air 1 aficianodos. I almost switched to buying Dunks.

Sorry to go off on that tangent, but recently I've seen a bunch of Crown Royal commercials on television and I'm hoping that it doesn't catch on because it is my favorite drink and I'm afraid that I won't like it if it becomes as popular as Grey Goose did (way overpriced but has a cool bottle).  So I'm gonna need rappers to never reference Crown in any of their rhymes so I can continue to get it at an affordable price.  Just the other day I went to Safeway and 750 mL bottles were $16.  Of course I bought two of them, because you can never have too much of a good thing..... right?

I can't even remember how I came to like Crown Royal.  Maybe it's because I'm from Michigan and that's about as close to being Canadian as you can be.  Maybe it's because as a child I kept my marbles in a Crown Royal bag.  But what is there not to love?  You get a nice whiskey at a reasonable price, and a free bag to keep all of your change and other knick knacks.  I currently have a Crown Royal bag filled with at least $25 in spare change, another filled with things that I use when I dj (magic eraser, brush for my needles, swiffer sheet to clean my records), and another that holds laptop cleaning supplies.  I mean... what other liquor comes with a handy accessory?

Since I had given up drinking for Lent, I planned to enjoy the end of the fast with a celebratory Crown Royal on the rocks (just like I like it).  I went out and had sushi (my first drink was actually a beer) and then I came home and settled in with my Crown.  It's a good thing I was at home because it went straight to my head and I began to write this posting.  I immediately followed that by going to the turntables and recorded the Crown Roayal Mix.  This might be the most eclectic mix I've ever done.  It has a little something for everyone.  Enjoy my ode to Canada's greatest import.