When Keepin' It "Green" Goes Wrong

 

So everyone should know that I love the Chappelle Show.  One of my favorite skits is "When Keepin' It Real Goes Wrong" with Vernon Franklin.  I'm assuming you've all seen it so I'll fast forward to my version - WHEN KEEPIN' IT GREEN GOES WRONG!!!

Yesterday I got off of work and I had made up my mind that I was going to head to the Richmond and get some take-out from Burma Superstar.  I walked home from the train, headed straight to get my keys, and down to the garage to get in my car and drive across town from South Beach.  I get to the garage and my car is gone... and I am LIVID!!!  I could have ridden my motorcycle, but I didn't want Burmese Curry drippin in my backpack as I rode through the city (I know this would happen from experience). MY ROOMMATE HAD TO HAVE TAKEN MY CAR!!!

My roommate had just sold his car but I let him use mine to get groceries and run errands if he needs it, but I had never imagined that he would take it without asking (especially when I was as hungry as I was).  HOW INCONSIDERATE!!!  So I walk to the corner market to get a sandwich for dinner and what do I see, but my car sitting across the street with a ticket under the windshield wiper.  Now I'm even more pissed because I thinking "why would he take my car just to drive across the street?"  So I sent him the following text message:

You need to ask if you're gonna take my car.

1. I now have a ticket

2. What if I needed to go somewhere

3. You just sold your car.  If the car I have is OUR car, you need to help pay for it.

 

His response:

Whoa whoa whoa - Hold on.  When do you think I used your whip?  When was the ticket and what are the details?  BTW, I don't mind paying but I never received a ticket.

 

THEN I STARTED TO THINK.....  Did someone steal my car and park it across the street (dumb)?  Maybe there is another car like mine with Michigan plates and a Stanford Alumni license plate holder (dumber)?  Or maybe I drove it there and forgot that I did (dumbest...but the right answer)?

Two days ago I stopped at the corner market on my way home.  I had to drive my car to work (approx. 40 miles) that morning because I was dropping it off to get new tires and an oil change.  Since I've never driven to the store that is on my block I must have come out and walked back home like I normally do.

How could I have done this, you might ask?  I NEVER DRIVE MY CAR.  I walk to work, to go out anywhere within 1.5 miles, and definitely to the corner store. I hate driving in SF because you always get parking tickets...always!  Just another reason why I think it's time to get rid of the thing.  Speaking of tickets I had two of them on my windshield totaling $120. Plus I had to apologize to my roommate for assuming he took my car. 

Captain Planet, I WANT MY MONEY BACK.... YOU GON' PAY WHAT YOU OWE!!!

So here's my ode to the money I lost.  There is a lot of cursing in this one!

Money Mix