Everyone Has An Opinion...

Everyone has an opinion.  Repeating this statement to yourself can save you a lifetime of anxiety and worry about what other people think.  Especially, when you come to the realization that most opinions will differ from yours in some way.

People all over the world are paid to give their opinions on everything from foreign policy to who is going to win the big game.  Over the last six months, I've been providing my opinion on whether or not I believe certain high school students should be admitted to a particular university.  This is my job, and there are several parents, guidance counselors, students, and other interested parties who do not agree with my opinion.  All of this has kept me away from my turntables and this blog.

As a release from (among other things) having others try and poke holes in my opinion, I DJ.  It has been a great stress reliever since I first picked up the craft in 2006.  When the headpohones are on and the wheels are spinning, it is almost as if nothing else matters.  I play what I think sounds good, for what mood I'm in.  IMAGINE HAVING THE ABILITY TO CREATE YOUR OWN PERSONAL SOUNDTRACK FOR EVERY MOOD!

Taking this craft to the public forum is what sometimes destroys its calming effect.  When you DJ for an audience, it is like having a continuous performance review.  Instead of being judged on objective measures, you are being judged on how well your opinion matches the opinion of the audience.  In many instances, you MUST play songs that you hate, but everyone else loves.  Sounds more like work, and less like a hobby.  SO WHY DO I DO IT....???  The previously described low points pale in comparison to the highs.  When the DJ and the audience are in sync, even the most statuesque of wall flowers will break their scarecrow poses, nod their heads, and mouth the words to the song pumping through the speakers.  The DJ drops the gain on the mixer to reveal the crowd singing in unison, then brings the gain back drowning out the off-pitch audience participation.  If you weren't able to pull an experience like that from your memory, then you have never been to a live party.  I would dare to say you haven't lived.

So I truly try and balance the types of gigs I do with some quality time with my favorite audience... myself.  I've come to realize that the songs that I think are great, might go unnoticed by the general public, receive no radio airplay, and/or never be played by a DJ at a party.  And judging by what I hear on the radio over and over again, I can assume that there are even more songs that are very popular with everyone EXCEPT me and a select few.  Not saying that either population is right or wrong, but I think we can agree to disagree on which songs are hot, and which ones are not.***

So here is a mix of songs over the life of my (close to five-year) experience DJing that I really liked, but they never seemed to get any airplay on the radio, in the clubs, or anywhere outside of my immediate circle of influence.  Let me know what you think.  Could any of these have been hits?

NO AIRPLAY MIX.MP3

***I can agree to disagree in most cases, but I did have a girl come up to me at my last gig and tell me that I needed to change the song after the dance floor cleared.  She said that I was playing a really bad song and that no one would ever dance to "a song like this."  The song I was playing was Michael Jackson - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough.  I strongly suggested that she leave the area designated for the DJ after explaining to her that what she was listening to IS/WAS/FOREVER WILL BE one of the greatest songs in the history of all hearing.  Then I played her Lady Gaga request.  :-)

 

 

Customer Service... Or Lack Thereof

You know where this is going.  Not too long ago, I made a move from San Francisco back down to the peninsula to save a little cash and be closer to work.  I mapped out every scenario and weighed the pros and cons of moving back to the peninsula and still decided that it would be best for me.  I was happy with my decision until I realized one thing.  I would be forced to deal with the company that has caused more people to slit their wrists in agony while on the phone with one of its trained professionals... COMCAST.  Mind you, I had my issues with AT&T U-Verse, but they were at least easy to talk to on the phone when I had an issue (which was about once a week).  My first task - Get a cable card for my TiVo HD.

I will spare you the details of what it took to actually get the card (20 mile drive to the "nearest" Comcast location and calling my landlord to recite the last four of his SSN two times).  So I get home eager to pop in the cable card and get it paired with my TiVo HD.  I call and deal with the voice recognition prompter that can't understand a damn thing I'm saying, and only gives me an option to enter the telephone number where the service is located (WELL WE DON'T HAVE A PHONE NUMBER).  Finally it asks me if I want to enter my account number (of course I know this by heart).  After pressing "0#" like eight times, I get transfered to a live person.  This would have been awesome, except I must have had my call answered by the dumbest of all of the dumb customer service employees in all of cable television.  Yes... THE ENTIRE WORLD OF CABLE TELEVISION. Maybe they figured because I couldn't follow the directions on the phone that they would pair me with someone of equal mental capacity.  Here's how the call went.

Cable Dude: "Thank you for calling Comcast...what can I do for you today"

Me:  "I'd like to get my cable card connected to my TiVo."

Cable Dude: "Ok, well do you have a TiVo?"

Me: "Yes I do" (but thinking I should have said.. No, dumbass, I just called and thought it would be a funny prank to play on you)

Cable Dude: "Well I need your data and host number so I can help you."

Me: "It's not showing up on the screen.  Should I restart my system?"

Cable Dude: "Yes. While you do that, can I put you on hold?"

Me: "Sure." (as I restart my system)

So I proceed to restart my system which takes about five minutes, and about four mintues into the wait the cable dude lets me know that I should call back after I get the numbers.

Me: "Um... can you just wait one more minute.  I don't want to have to go back through that automated system."

Cable Dude: "We're really busy here and I need to get off the phone"

Me: "Well, can you at least let me know if I can bypass the automated system?" (thinking... Yeah.. you're busy dealing with a customer who needs help)

Cable Dude: "I just work here, I've never actually called Comcast, so I don't know."

Me:  "Ok it's cool, man.  I'll just call back. (thinking... It's never the right answer to say... "I JUST WORK HERE"  A simple "No" would have definitely keep my blood pressure below unsafe levels).

Cable Dude: "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

Me: "Ummm, yeah. You can stay on the phone and... you know what... just forget it."

After two more calls to Comcast I finally got my cable card pair with TiVo and was able to view Sportscenter before going to bed.  Damn, I should have pressed 1 to take the brief survey after my call.  At any rate, I truly believe that Comcast's customer service mantra can be summed up very easily by the following illustration.

Comcast doesn't give a $hit about anyone.  If there were an award for pissing people off, Comcast would be the undisputed champion of the universe.  I have been working really hard at becoming a more forgiving and patient person, but these folks have led me to the conclusion that everyone in heaven has Direct TV. I have put Comcast employees on the same level as meter maids and people who kick dogs.

So while I'm forced to use Comcast as my cable provider for now,I can promise you (and I encourage all of you to do the same) that if given the choice, I will choose something else.

I urge you to take the time to listen to the mix for this one.  It didn't take me long to find the songs that described the feelings about my relationship with Comcast.

Comcast Mix

A Word To The Stanford Tree

I get it... You're supposed to be funny.  But there is a difference between being laughed at, and being able to make people laugh.  I'd like to argue that The Tree excels in the former.  As a graduate of Leland Stanford Junior University (organized 1891....GO CARDINAL!!!) I have had to defend The Tree on many occasions, but for what?  First, of all, we are the Stanford Cardinal (the color not the bird, so if you see a lone Stanford person, or any number of Stanford people together, they are "CARDINAL" and not "CARDINALS" as many people mistakenly state), not the Stanford Trees.  The tree is the band's mascot and I'm not even going to open the can of worms that is the Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band.  :-)  Since I am stuck with my outcast of an arboreal cousin, I believe it is my duty to give you the one hint that will keep other people from making fun of you (and me for being associated with you).

LEARN HOW TO DANCE!

I'm not talking about that hopping and twisting routine that you're known for (see below).

WTF WAS THAT??!!??  Everyone watching is now a worse dancer having viewed that video.  You are awarded no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.  - 0/10

A mascot should really be able to dance.  In fact I'd like to argue that there is nothing more funny than dancing mascots.  Something about all that plush fabric moving rhythmicly makes the corners of my mouth reach for the sky.  To show you what I mean, I've added some examples, scored on a 10pt scale.  Watch all of them and if you are not smiling by the end there is an icebox where your heart used to be.

Well look at that... A little rythym, plus bonus points for the robot (even if you're a cell phone) - 7/10

 

I don't know many people in real life that can dance this well.  Bonus for the crumpin' - 9.5/10

 

Apparently, the food sucks at Jollibee, but if they promise this dancing mascot will be there, I'd do all three meals there.  A dancing bee with flirtatious facial expressions - 10/10

 

So I hope that this note reaches this year's Tree.  I've even provided you with a mix to get you started - Dance Tree Dance Mix

Put that on, go in your room, and practice... HARD.

 

 

 

Shaved... Not Bald!!

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email that nearly broke my heart.  My favorite spot in San Francisco, MR. The Barbershop, was closing its doors.  Not only was I upset from the loss, but I was desperately in need of a haircut.  So after two years of rocking the 360 waves, I've decided to go back to shaving my head.

The advantages of the move are clear are easy to identify.

1.  All of my old fitted-hats are the correct size again

2.  I never have to worry about my hair being messed up (most people couldn't tell when my hair was messed up before)

3.  I have replaced a $1,000+ annual membership at MR. with a $60 pair of clippers and whatever it costs me in extra Mach-3 razors.

4.  I don't have to buy shampoo anymore

 

It's the disadvantages of my new hair-(or lack thereof) style that I want to discuss.

1.  My head gets cold - Living in San Francisco, I find that I'm almost forced to wear a hat at all times.  Though I enjoy rocking a fresh fitted cap I need to build my inventory of headwear up to the point where I feel like I have a hat for every outfit.  Yeah... I said that.

2.  Fear - Admit it... the scariest thing to see at night is a bald brotha with a goatee.  It's cool during the daytime when I'm spotted in the context of doing my regular 9-5 job, but at night I'm nothing more than a dark stranger (this was proven many times in b-school while walking on campus at night).  It's like I turn into this guy at night.

3.  Doppleganger - I now will be told that I look like every bald black  guy on TV.  I'm not sure if I like this better than being told that I look like every black guy with hair, but the fear factor may give the advantage to the 360 waves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Bald vs. Shaved - Many men shave their heads once they start going bald, and now I will be assumed to be in the same category.  For the record, my head is shaved, not bald.  THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

 

So here is a mix from a bunch of bald-headed hip-hop artist.  I'm not sure if they are bald or shaved but I bet if you see one of these cats in a dark alley, you'll go the other way.

BALDHEADZ MIX

 

 

 

 

The Great American Long-Back... ENHANCED

Ahhh, the good old "before" and "after" shot, brought to you by an up and coming company that is sweeping the nation - BOOTY POP PANTIES.  All I have to say is WTF!!??  As an aficionado of hind parts, I have to say, that this product is a waste of time and money for all of you seeking posterior enhancement.  For some reason, the experts think this garbage has promise.

They think booty-pop panties are a hit!!!  I beg to differ.  Since Dave Chappelle is no longer making hilarious sketches, I'm going to step up and say exactly what he would about the panel of experts depicted above.  There is not a single black male on the panel!!! We've been liking booty since the dawn of day, and I'm sure we would have a good opinion on the efficacy of such a product.  I'd take Warren Buffet's advice about investing, but I wouldn't ask him about booty.  Just like I wouldn't put my 401k in the hands of Sir Mix-A-Lot.

I have an idea... how about you do some squats and lunges?  The only thing these underwear are good for, is cushioning your backside from a fall.  Yes, the model's after picture looks better than the before one, but is she really going to walk around with her back arched and her hips pushed back all day (that can't be comfortable)?  Go ahead and put your booty pops in the same box with your Shamwow and your Ped Egg.

Who are the founders kidding when they speak about the target demographic?  This is targeted at women without butts, who like men, who like more full butts (YOU DO THE MATH ON THAT ONE... I'm not spelling it out any clearer than that).   Just listen to today's rap music.  There are more songs about butts than there are about rims, bling, and money put together.  What do most rappers look like?  Hmmmm.

The term Badonkadonk (or Badunkadunk) was coined in 2001 by Keith Murray in his return to the mic on FATTY GIRL.  No, it was not Spoonie Luv from above, nor Dave Chappelle who coined the term (though that's when most of you heard it).  Of course I found out this week that Steve Jobs is an aficionado of booty as well.  When attempting to type badunkadunk on my IPhone, I got halfway through (B-A-D-U-N-K) and my IPhone auto-filled badunkadunk for me.  My name is DJ 2degrees, and I'm a Mac.  In honor of Steve Jobs and Keith Murray, I hope you enjoy listening to the Ode2booty mix.

Watch out brothas... the Great American Long-Back has a new trick up her sleeve.

 

 

 

 

 

Wasn't it just 2000??

A good friend of mine told me that this year, her usual recap of the previous year would extend back to view the significance of the past decade.  It made me think about the last 10 years I spent on this earth, the tremendous growth I've gone through, and the many memorable moments (many of which have been shared on this blog).  Just 10 years ago, I was a 21-year-old, 208 lbs, 6.5% body-fat, pass catching machine, preparing to play in the Rose Bowl against Wisconsin.  Fast forward to 2009 and I'm pushing 220 lbs, of which a bit more than 6.5% is of a gelatinous nature (I know somebody who likes it, though).

Where did the time go and where did the pounds come from?  Let's see if we can figure this out with a recap of the last decade.

1999 - Preparing to play in the Rose Bowl... Played with two horribly sprained ankles, and bursitis in my elbow...

2000 - One of my proudest years, as my family celebrates my graduation in June.  Finish my final football season ranked #2 in Pac-10 history in receptions (I will be the only one to get this correct when it is the Aflac trivia question).

2001 - Wrist surgery... Signed a free agent contract with the San Diego Chargers... Cut by San Diego Chargers after catching a game-deciding touchdown in my first NFL game and clearly outperforming the receiver that they kept (I'm not bitter or anything)... Spent my time as a part-time appliance salesman at Best Buy (I know all the newest dishwasher technology)... Re-signed by San Diego Chargers (somebody came to their senses).

2002 - Allocated to NFL Europe by San Diego Chargers... Live in Barcelona for three months... Tear my ACL in the ninth game after leading the league in TD receptions (here's where I should have quit football)... Spend a year in physical therapy in Birmingham, AL.

2003 - Move to D.C. to see about a girl (check Good Will Hunting)... No NFL teams call... Head to South Carolina to play some Arena II football, and find out that the team meals are at Waffle House... Drive back to D.C. and make myself at home... Back to working at Best Buy, but this time, I'm actually running a department.

2004 - Quit job at Best Buy... Drive back to California (ALONE)... Signed by Scottish Claymores of NFL Europe... Despite earning a starting spot, cut by Scottish Claymores (Yes, you read that right; cue Jay-Z's - Politics As Usual)... Signed to B.C. Lions of CFL... Decide that Canadian Football is for Canadians and retire from football (humor me here; I use the word retire as if it was a hard decision for me.  $30,000 CDN is not worth the trouble)... Begin working in Stanford Athletic Department and moonlighting as a personal trainer.

2005 - Baptized... Ankle surgery... Walk into Borders and stumble across GMAT book... Realize that $25K isn't going to cut it in the Bay Area and apply to business school... Fool Stanford admissions for the second time, and I'm admitted to Stanford GSB... Begin to amass tons of student loan debt.

2006 - I learn that every company (especially a certain home improvement shop with an orange sign) is a mess on the inside... Purchase my first pair of turntables and DJ 2DEGREES is born.

2007 - Touchy Feely changes my life... Graduate from the GSB and enter the world of finance.

2008 - Exit finance to work at Stanford... Turn 30 years-old... My god-daughter Mikayla is born!!!!!

2009 - Knee surgery... Blog begins... Utterly miserable from January - October and contemplating leaving San Francisco... Fourth quarter comeback doesn't lead to a victory for 2009, but the game is no loner lopsided, and I have a lot to look forward to in 2010.

2010 - ???

So what does 2010 have in store for me?  Last year's motto "NEW $HIT" didn't really work out.  So this year I'll draw inspiration from music. Which of these should be the motto for 2010?

2010 - I Can (Very Obamaesque)

2010 - On To The Next One (works even if 2010 sucks)

2010 - The Winner (I deserve to win in 2010)

2010 - Imma Be (I control my destiny)

 

As usual, I can't end without hitting y'all with some music.  So here's the 2010 DJ 2DEGREES OUTLOOK MIX.

Pre-game

It's been six months since I went under the knife and I'm happy to say that I'm fully functional.  I saw the doctor last week and I've been approved for lateral movement and jumping (which I had done a little of already).  This means I'm headed back to the hardwood to get my game back and hopefully dunk again.  I've played a little hoops to test out the knee already and I haven't done well at all.  It's actually been downright pathetic.  I have resembled a guy that might have gotten garbage time on the JV team... as a junior in high school.  Truth is, I've never played junior varsity in any sport and have only played three years on any team where I wasn't a starter (my year in the NFL, reshirt frosh, and redshirt soph years at Stanford).  It's kinda sad that I have been reduced to only getting picked up when nine other guys can't seem to make five on four work.

So what has become of me?  I've become that guy that actually goes to the gym by himself to work on his game.  When asked if I'd like to round out that five on five roster, I've been that dude that says "naw... I'm just gonna stay over here and shoot jumpers over this imaginary defender."  After shooting an uncontested 30% from the field and crossing over invisible defender after invisible defender only to miss a wide open layup I begin to think that the junior high DeRonnie could school the 31 year-old version.

The good news is that I'm still able to at least touch the rim (WOO HOO).  I could grab it with two hands in the ninth grade (womp womp).  I guess junior high DP would get the nod today.  Those who know me well, know that I am not a quitter.  I am not a sore loser either, but you best believe that after you beat me in something I will go and practice it every day and challenge you again and again, until I win... and then I won't ever lose to you again.

I'm also not an idiot, so if I don't think I can beat you in the first place, I'll just say my knee hurts.

So while 2009 is still here, everyone should line up and challenge me athletically.  It will give me something to work hard for as I expect to take my training into overdrive in 2010.  A great philosopher once said, "It's ok to lose to your opponent... Must not lose to fear."

Actually that was Mr. Miyagi in Karate Kid III after Mike Barnes repeatedly beat Daniel Larusso's ass in during the All-Valley Karate Tournament.  Hopefully I won't have to go through all of that, but you get the point.

Music has always helped me to get over the fear and nerves that come with athletic competition.  You better believe that if you messed up in a game you were gonna get talked about in school the next day (I know this all too well from my 10+ turnover performance in my junior high hoops debut).  The music would help to relieve the angst of possible ridicule, and get me in a zone of concentration.  During my senior season in high school we would be huddled around a boom box listening to 2Pac's From The Cradle 2 The Grave and Str8 Ballin' (which I failed to realized was about selling drugs and not really playing basketball).  Before we won the state championship in hoops, I listened to Only God Can Judge Me Now by 2Pac on repeat.  Before our upset of #5 ranked Texas in 2000 we broke the locker room silence with Drag-On and Juvenile's Down Bottom.  I also remember my first NFL pre-season game and how at least 15 guys were blaring Lil Jon's Bia Bia through their headphones. So to get me amped up and ready for the competition, I decided to put together a mix that I would probably listen to before a game.  Lots of cursing.  Lots of Lil Jon.  Enthusiasm goes a long way in sports.

GET CRUNK MIX